Dear Reader,
Thank you so much for tuning in for this issue of Amuse Bouche. Today’s letter is going to be a little bit different, more personal. I’m going to pull back the curtain on my fertility journey. I feel like it’s important to talk about the realities that women face when trying to get pregnant in this day and age. And for anyone dealing with challenges in this department, I hope my story is helpful, resonates, and I’m sending you a huge hug. That being said, everyone’s body and situation is different, and we all have to figure out our own personal paths. I’m not an expert or a doctor and I encourage you to speak with your own doctor to learn more about your options. I’ll be sharing my own specific experience, and for this reason, the majority of it will be under a paywall. It’s also a bit of a long story, so this will be the first of several chapters. Please feel free to join us on the other side or send to someone who you think it would resonate with.
I know how hard it can be to see a nonstop stream of pregnancy announcements on Instagram, especially when my husband and I were trying to conceive, and I vowed to be open and honest about our circumstances if/when we ever got to that point. It was so emotional to make my own pregnancy announcement and I wanted to make sure I didn’t make anyone trying to get pregnant feel badly because of it. It took me longer than I expected to share my story here because I was either too scared to jinx it, or I felt like absolute garbage during the first 4-5 months of pregnancy, and then finally, when recently feeling good for the first time in a few years, I didn’t want to yank myself back to this extremely difficult time. It took a lot of personal work to actually allow myself to feel happy about being pregnant, to allow that scared, bitter and traumatized version of myself to fade into my past. This is a happy time and I’m ready to feel those feelings too!